The REAL Edward's Vacation
by nightlight6
Summary: This has nothing to do with Incas! When the Cullens go to Hawaii, Bella tries to find stuff to do, leading to hilarious catastrophe! The ultimate worldly Twilight comedy!  the actual one, thank you :
1. The Beginning

**Edward's Vacation**

_**Sorry to those of who read part of my old Incas report, that was an accident! Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

It was a semi-sunny day in Forks, and Bella was enjoying it by watching sappy soap-operas on the television.

" _Roderick, I thought you loved me!" " I do, but my Hungarian grandmother's cold sores are getting worse and worse, I must leave!"_

"The suspense is killing me, either that, or those Twinkies are dissolving me from the inside out." Bella said, not really looking at the TV screen. _Where the hell is Edward? I'm dying of drama overdose here!_ All of the sudden, the door-bell rang. " FINALLY!!!!!" Bella screamed in an exasperated voice. As she ran to the door, she heard Jacob's truck running outside. When she opened the door, she looked up to see Jacob wearing a sort of victorious smile. " Jacob, what are you doing here? I thought you were Edward!" Jacob continued with his creepy smile, " Actually, I think you won't be seeing much of that leech for awhile." Bella looked confused, " Uh… what?" " Edward-is-on-vacation. Was that slow enough for you?" Bella glared at him, " Is this a trick? What did you do with Edward?!" Jacob sighed, " I didn't do anything to him, he and the other blood-suckers are in Hawaii. Whatever, I'm out. I have important werewolf stuff to do" And with that, Jacob went back to his car, leaving Bella looking _very_ confused.

Bella paced around the living room, thinking. _O.k, I've called the Cullens like 12 times, they're not there. Maybe Jacob wasn't lying. _ Her thoughts stopped when she tripped over the remote. After screaming various curse words that could get me arrested for saying them on the internet, Bella turned to extreme measures. " Hey, Angela, do you want to go up to Port Angeles, do some shopping and stuff? Hello? Hello?! Great, she hung up." Bella put back the phone, thinking about what else she could do. " _Um, I'm sorry ma'am, what?_" " You heard me, I would like to know where I could get lottery tickets!" "_ I'm sorry ma'am, but you need to be 18 to play, and you sound more like 16 or 17 to me._" " So what if I'm 17? I'M BORED HERE!" When the dude on the other end hung up, Bella knew she had to try something else.

_**Sorry, for the cliffhanger, the second chapter is coming soon!**_


	2. The Solution  sorta

**Chapter 2: The Solution (sorta)**

_**Sorry the first chapter was short, but this one will be totally awesome!**_

It was a week after Edward had left for Hawaii (why, nobody knows) and Bella was bored out of her absolute mind. She decided she would go on a little drive around Forks. After remembering that wouldn't take long, she went back to watching soap-operas. "_ No, Wendy, you don't have the guts!_" "_I will! I will shoot!_" When Wendy proceeded with dropping the gun and making-out with Roderick (very avidly), Bella couldn't take it. _God! What can I do? I'M SO BORED! _ Bella was looking off the edge of the sea cliff, thinking, _o.k, maybe this is a __**little**__ extreme…_ when Jacob pulled up next to her and jumped out screaming, " NO BELLA! IT'S NOT WORTH IT! DON'T JUMP! YOU HAVE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU!!!" Before Bella could say anything, Jacob ran over and threw her in the back of his truck saying, " This is for your own good, Bells, I don't think Charlie would like it if I took you back home in a dustpan" Bella sighed and said, " Jacob, I wasn't committing suicide! Sheesh!" "Nice try, Bella, but I know what you're REALLY up to." Bella raised her eyebrow and said, "What?" Jacob thought for a second before saying, "Actually, I don't really know, I was kind of in the moment."

After an hour of driving, Bella looked out the window, "Uh, Jacob? Where are we?" "Somewhere near Seattle." Bella gaped at Jacob, "Why are we going there?!" Jacob sighed and said, "You need to find a way to get to Hawaii, I'll explain to Charlie later." Bella screamed, "YOUR SENDING ME TO HAWAII?! UH, JACOB?! DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S THE _TEENSIEST _BIT EXTREME?!" "Wow, you'd think a person would be _**glad**_ to chase their vampire boyfriend to a tropical getaway, but then again, you've always been different." Bella glared at him. "Oh, come on, Bells, don't you want to see your leech? I mean blood-sucker? I mean-""YES, I DO! BUT NOT BY FORCE!" Jacob waited for Bella to calm down a little, before replying, "Look, Bella, I'll drop you off at the docks. There's bound to be a cruise ship or something heading for Hawaii. Here's 100 bucks, and don't look at me like that! I don't care!"

After a quick good-bye to Jacob, Bella looked around the docks. There were cruise ships everywhere; one of them _**had**_ to be bound for Hawaii. After walking down the docks for awhile, she saw a couple of guys sitting around some crates and walked up to them, " Uh, do you know if one of these is heading for Hawaii?" The dude she had addressed looked back at his friends smiling maniacally, "Oh sure, babe. The one right behind you is heading _**straight**_ for Hilo, it's about 100 bucks for the round trip." Bella smiled and said, "Thanks!" As she walked off, she didn't notice the guys bursting into laughter.

As she gave the man on the ship the $100 bill, he looked her up and down and said, " Packing light?" as he handed her the room number of which cabin she would be staying in, Bella said, " Well, I can get everything I need on the ship, and its not that long of a trip, right?" The man raised his eyebrows and replied, "Whatever you say, ma'am."

The ship was starting to gain momentum as it left the Seattle harbor. Bella had just bought herself a nice mango smoothie and was thinking, _huh, maybe Jacob wasn't such an idiot after all, this is pretty nice!_ When the ship intercom turned on, "_This is your captain, speaking. The clouds are thin and the rest of the weather calculated for the trip looks good too. Remember, Wednesday is cocktail night! Feel free to jump in the pool, hang out at the bar, and enjoy your week long cruise to Argentina. Thank you!"_

_**Sorry once again for the cliffhanger, but the 3**__**rd**__** chapter will be out soon!**_


End file.
